Oh captain, my captain!

Last night’s Royal Rumble event saw a number of shocking returns, but perhaps none more so than that of Christian. Though the Rumble was technically Captain Charisma’s first match since June 8, 2020, most would look at his March 24th, 2014 tilt as his last before being forced into premature retirement.

However, that retirement, while not short-lived by any means, has turned out to be far less permanent than originally intended. Not only did Christian bring tears to my eyes for what’s now the 2nd Royal Rumble in a row, but with them more than a handful of dream matches and potential feuds heading into WrestleMania season.

It’s something I never thought I’d get the opportunity to do, but it’s one I’m damn happy to get to. Let’s talk Christian dream feuds that, thankfully, are now a little closer to reality.

Randy Orton

While Christian may go by the name Captain Charisma, perhaps I’ve earned the moniker of Captain Obvious with this one.

That being said, sometimes, things are obvious for a reason, and there’s no better starting point for Christian’s return than where his last venture inside the ring ended: directly in front of Randy Orton.

Yes, it’s the easy answer, but sometimes, the easy answer is the right one.

There’s simply too much to work with when it comes to the two whether it be over Christian’s own issues with Cowboy Bob’s son or Orton’s year-long feud with Edge. Who can forget Orton breaking the WWE Universes’ heart and ending Christian’s Heavyweight Championship run just one day after it began? Just dastardly, and certainly something that’s in need of some recompense.

While Christian got a modicum of revenge on the Viper a few months ago, there’s still room for a cherry on top of the sundae of retribution.

Seth Rollins

I tried to make a Christian/Messiah pun to kick off this portion of the article, but unlike the Lord, that idea didn’t float.

Outside of the obvious fact that the two could put on a terrific match, let’s not forget that Christian was also in the ring the night that Rollins held his foot to Edge’s neck in order to get John Cena to reinstate The Authority, which years later must still stick in the craw of both men.

There’s no argument that Rollins is one of the most talented members of the WWE roster right now, and if Christian’s only going to be back on a limited-time basis, may as well put him up against the best of the best.

AJ Styles

Christian’s Coalition! CHRISTIAN’S COALITION, YOU GUYS.

I’d make the argument that AJ Styles is a dream match for a broomstick, nonetheless a highly-talented professional wrestler making his shocking and anticipated return to the sport. I mean, of course it’s just selfish speculation to think that any mention of one of TNA’s greatest stables (in this writer’s humble opinion) would ever make it to WWE save for a mention as a joke, but pipe dreams aside, it’s pretty incredible that we can even talk about this as a tangible, realistic dream match.

Frankly, folks, I don’t care how we get there, but let’s make it happen.

Big E

In the nearly seven years Christian has spent away from wrestling, the WWE roster has nearly entirely turned over. While there are certainly a few familiar faces on both the RAW and Smackdown sides of things, there are a bevvy of new faces for Captain Charisma to step inside the ring with.

One might even say that it’s an entirely New Day (yes, it is).

Okay, yes, the two have squared off before, and a lot of that long-winded introduction was in service of a pretty average pun, at best. However, if we want to go way back, it was Christian who won the fateful March 24, 2014 #1 contenders match that turned out to be his final (full) wrestling match. The championship that the former Brood member was chasing that evening? The Intercontinental Championship. How cool would it be to see him successfully uphold his #1 contendership, especially when pitted against someone both as equally talented and charismatic as Big E?

This match would be worth it for the sheer entertainment value of their promos, nonetheless the slapper of a match the two would be bound to deliver together.

Edge

How can a guy mentioned so often throughout this article NOT be named?

The possibilities in an Edge and Christian feud of any sort are truly endless. Whether they choose to approach it from an angle of two best friends wrestling each other for the first time or whether The Ultimate Opportunist reverts to his old dastardly ways, there’s simply money to be made between a tilt between the two, especially after their emotional reunion at the Royal Rumble.

Despite their long history, few words really need to be said about a potential Edge vs. Christian match. Simply put, it’s perhaps THE dream match for many of us wrestling fans.

What’cha think, friends? Who do you want to see Christian step into the ring with?

Let us know in the comments or get at me on Twitter @SpennyLove!