“S.O.S. I hear them shoutin’
S.O.S. I hear them cryin’
S.O.S. I hear them callin”
The reason why I’m quoting the lyrics to Kofi’s old but gold theme song is that people either don’t know the lyrics or are still butchering the lyrics by saying something like “sos I hear them Shelton, sos I hear them Bryan” instead.
Like most people, I discovered Kofi Kingston through a series of vignettes which ends with the line in his Jamaican accent “there’s always trouble in paradise”. My man basically described the plot of Far Cry 3.
Usually, WWE would see a character outside of America and say, “Turn them heel right now” but throughout the pre-accent drop, Kofi was a babyface which is quite rare. It’s almost as rare as hearing “here’s your winner, Solo Sikoa”.
You gotta give him credit, he made me as a wee little lad convinced that he was as Jamaican as Adele.
He was exciting, defining, amazing and most importantly, unique that separates from the pack.
That last part is important as Kofi debuted in an era where you saw a lot of debuts that were forgettable.
So forgettable in fact that Wrestling With Wregret did a 3 part video documenting forgotten wrestlers (and you know it’s bad when your lasting legacy as a WWE wrestler from 2002 till 2008 is appearing on a YouTube video).
You know what wasn’t forgettable? The way he dropped his Jamaican accent on an episode of RAW leading to Bragging Rights. One of the rare moments where unpredictability in wrestling actually worked.
Unfortunately, what didn’t work was his big push in late 2009 (thanks Randall Keith) as he was stuck in midcard purgatory for years.
He did pop off again thanks to him being one of three members of the greatest faction of all time, The New Day (yea, I said it. The. Greatest. Faction. Of. All. Time).
February 12, 2019. Remember this date because it was the “lighting caught in a bottle” moment. That date was on an episode of Smackdown where Kingston participated in a gauntlet match to determine the last entrant in the Elimination Chamber match.
For context, due to an injury, Mustafa Ali was out of the Elimination Chamber match for the WWE title and was replaced by Mr 24/7 himself (Poor Ali. That dude was also going to grab the Money In The Bank briefcase until brook laser showed up and took it).
After eliminating the man formerly known as Daniel Bryan, Jeff Hardy and Samoa Joe (aka 3 AEW guys), AJ Styles (the second last person in the gauntlet match) saw a beat up, exhausted Kofi and said to him, “You don’t have to do this, just stop, just stop, it’s all right.”
Kofi with a bit of fire and passion left in his body responded, “I’ve waited so long. Fight me!”
That line is what every single professional wrestler fights for. An opportunity. An opportunity where they can showcase themselves even if they’re a bit banged up because that chance ain’t never coming back and Kofi waited a decade to finally be in a WWE title picture.
I know the words “Corey Graves” and “best” don’t usually go well but he said it best, “There is no shame whatsoever in what Kofi Kingston just did.”
Kingston did eventually tap out to the Calf crusher but that entire performance was just the beginning for the Ghanaian native. The beginning of a movement where his name is inserted after the word mania aka Kofi-mania (no shit, Benoit Blanc).
That entire arc led to him winning the WWE championship at Wrestlemania 35 (in a very good match) in the best moment of the year and the way he lost the championship to Brock Lesnar several months later was the worst moment. Who would’ve thought the worst and best moment of 2019 both involved Kofi Kingston because creative, am I right?
I wish Kofi would go back to being a main event level act soon but a man can only dream.
Overall, Kofi Kingston is in the conversation of the greatest to ever do it mainly due to his 15 year long success in the world of professional wrestling showcasing his high-flying athleticism, exciting matches, charisma and most importantly, mastery in Tekken.
Let’s finish his old theme song lyrics shall we? “You woke up with a Batman, Rhea and Cena.
You run for day, cog nina way, I bring bullies that are so bad at English, shove a mega punch into my face, Little boy. It’s a Shane, what the Shane, you lose ya life. You want more more time. Tasneem is mine. Yerp bawling.”
